Al Gores Wins Nobel Peace Prize

Global Warming Guru, Hollywood Oscar winner, and former Vice President Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. has been awarded the prestigious Nobel Peace Prize. Al Gore, who said, “he was deeply honored to receive the Nobel Peace Prize,” now finds himself in renowned, if not distinguished, company. Recent recipients of this “honorable” award include such illustrious luminaries as Palestinian terrorist Yasser Arafat; former U.N. Secretary General and architect of the Oil-for-Food scandal, Kofi Anan; former President Jimmy Carter whose abject failure as a president has only been exceeded by his abject failure as an ex-president; and Kenyan political activist Dr. Wangari Maathai, who claimed AIDS was bio-engineered by Western scientists and then released in Africa to wipe out blacks.

In presenting the award to Mr. Gore, a spokesperson for the Nobel Peace Prize Committee said, “I hope this will have an effect on the attitudes of Americans as well as people in other countries.” In its formal citation, the Nobel committee called Mr. Gore “probably the single individual who has done most to create greater worldwide understanding of the measures that need to be adopted.”

“The science showcased by… Al Gore’s advocacy have helped to build up and disseminate greater knowledge about man-made climate change, and to lay the foundations for the measures that are needed to counteract such change,” the committee said.

In related news, British courts have determined that Al Gore’s schlockumentary “An Inconvenient Truth” contains at least eleven material falsehoods

In order for the film to be shown, the courts have ordered that the Government must first amend their Guidance Notes to Teachers to make clear that:

( 1.) The Film is a political work and promotes only one side of the argument.

(2.) If teachers present the Film without making this plain they may be in breach of section 406 of the Education Act 1996 and guilty of political indoctrination.

(3.) Eleven inaccuracies have to be specifically drawn to the attention of school children.

And what are those inaccuracies?

The film claims that melting snows on Mount Kilimanjaro evidence global warming. The Government’s expert was forced to concede that this is not correc

The film suggests that evidence from ice cores proves that rising CO2 causes temperature increases over 650,000 years. The Court found that the film was misleading: over that period the rises in CO2 lagged behind the temperature rises by 800-2000 years

The film uses emotive images of Hurricane Katrina and suggests that this has been caused by global warming. The Government’s expert had to accept that it was “not possible” to attribute one-off events to global warming.

The film shows the drying up of Lake Chad and claims that this was caused by global warming. The Government’s expert had to accept that this was not the case

The film claims that a study showed that polar bears had drowned due to disappearing arctic ice. It turned out that Mr. Gore had misread the study: in fact four polar bears drowned and this was because of a particularly violent storm.

The film threatens that global warming could stop the Gulf Stream throwing Europe into an ice age: the Claimant’s evidence was that this was a scientific impossibility.

The film blames global warming for species losses including coral reef bleaching. The Government could not find any evidence to support this claim.

The film suggests that the Greenland ice covering could melt causing sea levels to rise dangerously. The evidence is that Greenland will not melt for millennia.

The film suggests that the Antarctic ice covering is melting; the evidence was that it is in fact increasing.

The film suggests that sea levels could rise by 7m causing the displacement of millions of people. In fact the evidence is that sea levels are expected to rise by about 40cm over the next hundred years and that there is no such threat of massive migration.

The film claims that rising sea levels has caused the evacuation of certain Pacific islands to New Zealand. The Government is unable to substantiate this and the Court observed that this appears to be a false claim.

Mr. Gore was unavailable for comment.

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