God and Santa Claus

With the 2008 presidential election coming to an end, I thought it might be a good time to remind voters the difference between Republicans and Democrats as defined by the eloquent and eminent P.J. O’Rourke.

“I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this. God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle-aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men strictly accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well-being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God’s heavenly country club.

Santa Claus is another matter. He’s cute. He’s non-threatening. He’s always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without thought of a quid pro quo. He works hard for the charities, and he’s famously generous to the poor.

Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus.”

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