A Congress of Whores

There is an apocryphal anecdote often told of Winston Churchill and Lady Astor:

Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?

Lady Astor: My goodness, Mr. Churchill… Well, I suppose… we would have to discuss terms, of course…

Churchill: Would you sleep with me for five pounds?

Lady Astor: Mr. Churchill, five pounds! What do you think I am some kind of whore?!

Churchill: Madam, we’ve already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.

Sen. Ben Nelson of Nebraska is the latest hustler to prostitute his vote and become one of Harry Reid’s bought and paid for whores. Nelson sold his vote for a Medicaid funding exemption for his state.

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a Democrat Senator. But I repeat myself. Hat tip to Mark Twain. However, if I were an idiot Democrat Senator who got diddly-squat for risking my political career by voting for this Obama-Pelosi-Reid “health care” atrocity, I’d not be mollified by Harry Reid’s remarks yesterday.

According to Reid, you Democrat senators who didn’t cut a deal with Harry for your vote are ignorant and stupid. Defending his practice of the world’s oldest profession within today’s Congress, Reid said,

“There are 100 senators here and I don’t know that there’s a senator that doesn’t have something in this bill that isn’t important to them,” Reid said. “If they don’t have something in it important to them then it doesn’t speak well of them.”

Since it appears Democrats are as easily bought and paid for as back-alley whores, I suggest Republicans cobble together a trough of bribes sure to whet the appetite of even the lowliest scum-sucking pig. A few well-placed bribes could easily pick up a dozen or so Democrat senators with no convictions or morals other than their own gluttony and personal aggrandizement.

The Louisiana whore Mary Landrieu was willing to turn tricks for $300 million. Offer her $500 million and 10 Hail Mary’s to walk again in the light of righteousness. We already know what Mary is – we’re just re-negotiating the price.

Ben Nelson prostituted himself for a commitment from the government to fully fund in perpetuity his state’s expanded Medicaid population. Tell the whore-monger if he votes “no” on healthcare, the government will throw in a commitment to fully fund his state’s SCHIP in perpetuity also.

Where’s the money come from? No problem. Harry didn’t use his or Democrat Party money. The money Harry promised his whores is the money we pay in taxes. Quid pro quo. If Democrats can use taxpayer money for bribes, so can Republicans.

It’s not like Harry’s Whores are going to see any of that money anyway. I’m not sure if all those Democrat senators Harry Reid asserts “ don’t speak well for themselves”, will bother to trouble themselves, but I’m confident every Republican senator has, or soon will, ask their state’s attorney general to investigate the legality of using taxpayer funds to buy votes and the constitutionality of exempting one state for which every other state will incur financial liability.

Seems like I recall something like that in the Constitution. Article 1, Section 8:

The Congress shall have the power to lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the debts and provide for the common Defense and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;


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